Being Momma Bear has changed me. I’ve changed drastically and dramatically and for the better. We grow up, drag ourselves in to the world of adulthood and expect nothing. For some people things don’t change. They blend from one decade to the next with the same ideals and shoes. Others change quickly, become bigger, better versions of their younger selves. And then there are new parents. The change is sudden and immense. The growing up and learning is vast. Parenthood is like an affliction that changes the internal mechanisms of your body and brain – in a positive yet frightfully severe way. Has parenthood changed you?
Today, Momma Bear and Papa Bear have realised something. Something that has crept up on us as we’ve lived and loved our days. Something that really shouldn’t have been so shadowed and hidden. And yet, it feels as though change came knocking, unlocked the door and gracefully let itself in without us knowing. Today, change gave us a bruising. A slap, right across the face. Almost a wake up call. Don’t miss these days, these hours, these seconds. They will soon blur.
I’m not talking about when you bring a newborn home and the world suddenly seems very big and very scary. Or when the weight of responsibility for a beautiful helpless human lies heavy on your shoulders. You feel so alone because you think you don’t know what you’re doing (when really you do!) I don’t mean when the excitement of the first few weeks dies down and suddenly friends and family visit less and the house is quiet and looms large with its multitude of tasks. And I’m not talking about the loneliness that comes with being somewhat isolated on maternity leave when you wish after the old norm of the daily grind which included adult conversation and hot cups of tea with colleagues.
Moving house is one of the most stressful things you can do. We moved house twice last year. Once into my parents house as a stop gap and then into our new forever country home. And yes, it was incredibly stressful between estate agents, banks, solicitors, surveyors, removal companies. The months are long and tedious and the whole process seems never ending. Children are wonderfully resilient but don’t underestimate the impact such an upheaval can have on little minds. A was incredible, bouncing into her new home as though she had always lived there. But we prepared her for the change.
This week I have had the pleasure of talking to James from A Life Just Ordinary. James is dad to a little boy, Joshua and writes a humorous family blog which is sure to have you snickering as you can relate to him and his opinion on Peppa Pig amongst other things! Aside from joining the wonderful blogosphere this year, James also works full time and like all of us is managing the work life balance as best he can. Read more of James Conversation – Interviewing Dad
Oh dear, why do I do it to myself! If you’ve been reading my blog or following me on Twitter you’ll know that I quite like order and control and after about five minutes (I’m surprised I last that long) of mess and chaos the cloths and sweeping brushes come out and I’m cleaning up as little A runs around creating more wonderful dirt for me to pick up. Cooking with A is great fun and teaches her about the concept of cooking, preparing meals and making choices. And who doesn’t love homemade pizza! I have a few tips on keeping the mess and frustration at bay.
An Emergency C Section Birth Story – 3 Tips for Caesarean Sections. C Sections are long and complicated topics – this is the start of my story. Lately, my C Section scar has been giving me grief. It’s not so much sore as it is irritating. I’m blaming the awkward humidity we’ve been having lately but really I’ve no idea what’s causing the gentle numbing tingling. More often than not though I forget that the scar is there. It healed well and I remember my obstetrician saying that she was very pleased with the four inch straight line as I lay on the operating table.
A Little Night Time Reading – 5 Toddler Books. Admittedly, I am not the right person to talk about this since B is the one who reads books with A (and I’m the librarian – go figure!) but B has been busy talking to Claire at The Pramshed for her blog series on The Partners Experience so I’m collating these five favorite toddler books myself… I’m sure I’ll have an updated version from B very shortly.
Don’t Patronise Me. To look at me you may put me somewhere in my mid 20’s. Or younger, if you dare. Don’t treat me like a kid because you think I look young. Treat me like I deserve to be treated. Recently, I was buying a set of garden shears in Argos and was asked for ID. Yup, identification please! I was unaware that you had to be over 18 to purchase such a weapon of garden destruction. Now to set the scene, I had my two year old running around me and I was clearly quoting from the Mommy Bible “Put that back”, “Don’t touch that”, “Give that back to the lady”, and “No, wait until we get home”. At which point I gave her my car keys to play with which allowed me one second to hand over my credit card to this Argos assistant who was staring at the console, back to me, to the console and back to me again. A whole minute passes and she says:
Do you have a messy house? I’m trying not to have a house of mess but mess wins most of the time. I am an “everything in its place” person. Every book, every cup, every pillow must be placed the same way every time. I put it down to my natural instinct as a graphic designer where every text box, line and graphic must be set to the exact measurement. But I’ve learnt, and I’ve learnt quickly, that there are a lot of exceptions to the rule. Order will not prevail in a house with even one child.