Its 2019. We’re breaking into a new decade very soon and yet there still remains a veiled perception of the stay-at-home Dad, who he is and what he should be like. Strong. Masculine. In the office. And yet we consider ourselves to be a progressive and understanding society. You see, it all still seems to be about Mum when we talk about staying at home and being the primary caregiver. In todays Irish Times, I spoke to a Dad who has felt the prejudice and judgment with wanting to be the Dad at home, the one who cares for the kids 24/7. He has felt the stigma and the inward pull of his masculinity as friends and colleagues ask “why would you want to do that?”
The past few weeks have been quite a whirlwind and I’m only slowly coming down from it all. Actually no, I’m levelling out and about to spiral back up again because on Thursday I’m heading to Cork which will include not only an awards ceremony but a hot bath and a big bed all to myself!
“Three in a row and the little one said…!” Finding out that I can now happily smoosh myself in between our two kids in the back seat of our car has been a revelation. Whenever we needed that extra seat to collect a friend or Nanna, it meant bringing two cars. But recently we were gifted the BubbleBum booster seats and my not so little hips fit perfectly between the little ones High Back Booster and little missus’ new BubbleBum seat. There are so many reasons why we love these quirky booster seats from Bubblebum.
And I have one up for grabs too! Read on!
Found out last week I’ve been included on
The 100 Most Inspiring Women of Ireland List of 2019 as part of The Graham Norton Gin Inspiring Awards 2019. Pretty chuffed. Its always nice to be recognised for your work especially when you freelance and don’t have a boss to thank you, congratulate you or praise you for your work.
“The fourth trimester meant recovering and understanding more than the physical labour of birth and focusing on the emotional labour which is the ebb and flow of a new maternal life.” My words, from an article I wrote for the Irish Times in July. “Parenthood will change you. It’s almost an affliction that rewires the internal mechanisms of your body and brain. Like a sometimes-instant switch, automatically flicked, when your baby takes their first breath.
Life has a funny way of changing your perspective on things. For us, the idea of our family tree spreading didn’t start with that giggle and jiggle under the sheets. The drawn-out two-year conversation about whether it was the right time to start a family, hung like a cloud over us as we thrashed out the whys, the ifs and the buts. It was a long process. It’s the old story of I wanted kids, he wasn’t sure, I pushed the issue, he pushed back, and I won in the end.
It’s possible I should start off by the saying that you should really enjoy the baby making sessions because there may come a time when squeezing in more than a thirty second smooch becomes tedious. But that may put you off the idea of having kids and what would be the point of that. Let it be known, sex as a parent is both limited and glorious for all the obvious reasons. But when is the right time to add a baby to your daily grind?
It’s never too late to go back to school and continue your education. That being said, having to study whilst juggling the role of a parent can make it a lot more challenging. I’ve been tempted, over the years, to take on an online course but I will admit, the commitment to a two or three year part time course seems daunting. I’ve taken on smaller online courses with accredited certificates at the end spanning max three months. Even that felt like a large commitment at the end. I am however juggling the idea of completing an online writing course specifying in journalism to add another string to my bow. If you have kids and are eager to return to education, here are a few tips that could help to make things easier.
My recovery was a long eighteen months combining so many actions on a daily basis to keep my head flying higher than the flamingo. What did I do?