Its 2019. We’re breaking into a new decade very soon and yet there still remains a veiled perception of the stay-at-home Dad, who he is and what he should be like. Strong. Masculine. In the office. And yet we consider ourselves to be a progressive and understanding society. You see, it all still seems to be about Mum when we talk about staying at home and being the primary caregiver. In todays Irish Times, I spoke to a Dad who has felt the prejudice and judgment with wanting to be the Dad at home, the one who cares for the kids 24/7. He has felt the stigma and the inward pull of his masculinity as friends and colleagues ask “why would you want to do that?”
Being Momma Bear has changed me. I’ve changed drastically and dramatically and for the better. We grow up, drag ourselves in to the world of adulthood and expect nothing. For some people things don’t change. They blend from one decade to the next with the same ideals and shoes. Others change quickly, become bigger, better versions of their younger selves. And then there are new parents. The change is sudden and immense. The growing up and learning is vast. Parenthood is like an affliction that changes the internal mechanisms of your body and brain – in a positive yet frightfully severe way. Has parenthood changed you?
They say that when a newborn baby is on its way to a family, that older children may often regress into babyhood. Talking about the impending arrival, buying nappies and supplies and witnessing a whole new level of babyhood can be confusing for toddlers and young children, especially children who have never experienced a new baby invading their space before and don’t know what to make of all this change. We’ve noticed over the past few months, that A has started regressing in a playful manner as she alludes to being a baby again, using a soother, talking in goo-goo gaga language and wanting to be held and cuddled like a baby. It’s quite cute… once we don’t let it get to far and become an issue. So, she’s regressing a little. That’s perfectly fine since her world is about to be turned upside down, but we’ve noticed one other thing. B and I have regressed a little too.
B, you know me better than anyone but did you know…
Today is B’s birthday. Instead of it being a lovely family day with nice surprises for Daddy along the way, he sits in a coffee shop somewhere while I have just about managed to stop myself from crying because I was almost at the point of hyperventilating. Why? Because A wouldn’t eat her breakfast or her lunch or listen to a single word we said. Because frustration had reached a pinnacle and B and I bounced off each other making our anger and desperation worse. A is now fast asleep, down for a nap, while I sit in her room focusing my thoughts on this blog post. Today, this is what parenting looks like for me.
Oh me, oh my how life changes when babies appear and how life changes as they grow up and morph from babies to toddlers to children. I listed five ways our relationship changed when the toddler took over. Five changes among a list of a million and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.
This post was originally posted on Talya’s blog Motherhood the Real Deal
This week on In Conversation With, we have the one with the Beard. Ross and his Beard (yes, it deserves a capital letter, since the Beard is as famous as Ross is and you will soon see why) are quickly becoming very popular in the blogging community. I was chuffed to have met up with Ross at the Irish Blogger Agency launch in September, having chatted with him on twitter for the last couple of months. It’s always great when the online world aligns with the real world and I’d like to think that we’re now blogger buds! Ross blogs at The Stented Papa, a fantastic and popular Irish Papa Blog. Ross has had an interesting route into becoming a Stay at Home Dad which he shares with us here. His values and opinions on parenting and fatherhood are refreshing and I just know you’ll enjoy reading his interview today.
Three years ago at 3:03pm our daughter was born. She changed our world and made us into stronger and better people. She made us more emotional than we ever thought possible and we have been explicitly exhausted since the moment she was put in our arms and we smelt her sweet baby skin. From that second, as the clock ticked our way into parenthood for the first time, everything we did, everything we planned was for her. For her happiness, for her future. We strengthened our marriage, we grew roots in our new home and planned for the future. She is the centre of our universe. Like the Sun and Moon we revolve and live purely for her. Today, there is no Sunday Sit Down, todays post is a dedication to my baby girl who is no longer a baby, no longer a toddler, she has graduated to child. Happy Birthday Goose.
A is almost three. Three years old and I can’t help but wonder, how often in that short space of time have I said, “It’ll be easier when…” As working parents, we go from house to car to work to car to house. Never ending regular routines and schedules that can’t be diverged from for fear of being late or losing control of the weekday madness and falling into a never ending trap of rushing, panicking and losing precious time. It’ll be easier when A can walk, when she can talk, when she can put her own coat on. It’ll always be easier when independence grows I thought. But it’s never truly easy and the endless rushing from day to day is simply hard. As a working parent, that hot cup of tea, those adult conversations and the quiet as I commute to the office is not a prize for working. It’s a reminder that I made it out the door with or without stress. But surely someday “It’ll be easier when…”