Six weeks in to having two children and the pressure of being officially outnumbered has caught up. In one way, being pulled from either side by a toddler who has become increasingly clingy and won’t leave me out of her sight, and a newborn who will cry incessantly until her needs are met, has meant my body and brain has struggled to keep up.
You may remember that during my pregnancy, I struggled with pains, hormones and fears. For the second time in my life, I was hating the experience and willing it to be over. Throughout the nine months, I failed to bond with the bump. I rarely thought about what Little Bean would be like and how well she would fit into our small family. I couldn’t or rather didn’t imagine what she would look like, smell like, feel like. I didn’t have the time to focus on the fact that I was growing a human being. I had a three year old running around me and she kept me well occupied. Things changed in the first hour that Little Bean was born.
The nine months, the incessant worrying after a four week heavy bleed and clot, the intense morning sickness, the incredible pains, the lack of sleep – was all worth it. I’ve fallen in love for the third time in my life. The first time was with B, the second with A and now with Little Bean who will now be referred to as D. Hello Little Bean, welcome to the world and to our family. We love you so much already.
I’ve heard them say that going from zero babies to one baby is harder than going from one to two. I can understand why. Having at least one child has given you a massive amount of experience into this world of parenting. Whether you think you’re a good parent or not, whether you struggle every day with the long and arduous routine or have everything neatly organised and arranged for the week ahead, parenting is all still a mystery with learning curves every day. But adding a second child to the mix, apparently isn’t as hard as learning everything from scratch first time round. So why do I feel so damn nervous about becoming a Mum of two?
They say that when a newborn baby is on its way to a family, that older children may often regress into babyhood. Talking about the impending arrival, buying nappies and supplies and witnessing a whole new level of babyhood can be confusing for toddlers and young children, especially children who have never experienced a new baby invading their space before and don’t know what to make of all this change. We’ve noticed over the past few months, that A has started regressing in a playful manner as she alludes to being a baby again, using a soother, talking in goo-goo gaga language and wanting to be held and cuddled like a baby. It’s quite cute… once we don’t let it get to far and become an issue. So, she’s regressing a little. That’s perfectly fine since her world is about to be turned upside down, but we’ve noticed one other thing. B and I have regressed a little too.
You may have noticed that I have been a little quiet on the blog front. I decided to take a week or so off from writing as I caught up on, well everything. I’ll admit at 30 weeks I’ve been pushing myself too hard and have felt exhausted to the point of willing myself into a coma. Not to repeat myself, but I’m not made for pregnancy and find that I’m really struggling this time round. On the flip side, its gone a lot quicker than last time and the final countdown has crept up on us. But because we’ve only single digit weeks to wait until Little Bean arrives, I can’t help but feel anxious over the fact that I haven’t bonded with bump and that I have nothing ready for her. Oh how different pregnancy number two really is.
The Phd Mama joins us on In Conversation With this week. I have been following the wonderful Suchitra for a while now and love her blog. She is mum to two beautiful kids, an infant and a toddler. Suchitra writes about her adventures in parenting and living a multiracial life with her family. She is a a former Communications Studies Professor who is now a stay at home mum, reluctantly! Remember to check out her blog and to say hi to her on social media. Bloggers will want to know that Suchitra now runs a Linky called #BloggerBeatz. The linky runs from the 25th to the 27th of the month, so be sure to check it out!
B, you know me better than anyone but did you know…
This week on In Conversation With, Heather joins us. Heather writes an aptly named blog Very Anxious Mommy. I think it’s safe to say that we all go through moments of anxiety as we try to figure out how to be the best parent we can be and also cope with the usual disasters life can throw at us. Heather, is mum to two beautiful children, an advocate for breastfeeding and a stay at home mum. She is also open and honest in her blog about battling anxiety and depression and is genuinely an inspiration to all of us. Remember to check out her blog and to follow her on social media.