The Grandparent Bond

The Grandparent Bond is strong, supportive, and beautiful to watch grow. I have an amazing relationship with my parents.Β I love and respect them to such an extent that I simply can’t put it in to words. I look up to them for everything and place them high on a pedestal whether they like it or not. When I say these things to them, my Mum would answer, “We’re not perfect”. But I think they are.

I am the youngest of three and will always be their baby despite being 33 next month. They gave me, my sister and my brother a childhood that is drenched in good and happy memories. They raised us in the 80s when the recession was hard and money was low. My Mum was a stay at home mother until I was 13 and my Dad was always the best at his job – in my opinion anyway. We would joke that my Dad was actually a member of the CIA, undercover, working in the Ordnance Survey because he couldn’t (and still can’t) read a map! Go figure! To be fair he can read a map but is also an expert at getting us lost despite the map in hand. As I was the youngest I got a lot of one on one time with my mum after I wandered home from primary school, since my brother and sister were still at secondary school. I remember coming home to freshly baked buns as they cooled on racks in the kitchen and helping my mum make the icing before my brother came home to lick the bowl and beaters.

We went on mountain hikes and bike rides. We visited museums and libraries. We got the bus everywhere. And we went hostelling in Galway where the boys and girls were separated and we said goodnight to my Dad and brother until the morning. It was all an adventure and my parents made it exciting and memorable.

There are a lot of times when I try to replicate my childhood for A. But this is impossible because times change. I don’t own a bike and I’m sure if I attempted to cycle more than a mile I’d be exhausted (seriously unfit here!) And I’m not sure I’d manage to encourage B to go hostelling… in fact I’m also used to my 4 or 5 star luxury now too.

Seeing my parents with my daughter though brings back the sentiment my Mum and Dad had for us as kids. Whenever they are minding A for the day, I see the happiness and excitement in their eyes and their minds ticking over with the plans they have for A that day. They build memories for her in a way that B nor I could. They are creating a bond with her that will be everlasting with new adventures. Without fail, they bring her to beach, or out for a giant cookie or cupcake in a cafe. They are down on their hands and knees playing with her, chatting to her, involving her in their lives.

The Grandparent Bond Grandchild Grandparent Relationship
Happy out wearing one of Granda’s hats

I didn’t have a special relationship, or any real relationship for thatΒ matter, with my grandparents. My Mum’s parents had passed before I was born and I’m sad that I never got to know them. She tells me stories of them which belong in an era I have no understanding of. My grandfather on my Dad’s side passed when I was seven and my grandmother, I unfortunately never bonded with up to her passing when I was in my twenties. It is a large family, with a lot of cousins who lived closer to them, who saw them more and owned that relationship instead of me. I mostly remember, when we visited, being offered red lemonade, and sitting on the sofa watching Coronation Street until my Dad gave us the loose change in his pocket and my brother and I would pretend to play poker. It was a generation of the children must not be heard. We sat quietly waiting until the visit was over and it was time to get the bus home. I don’t remember having conversations with my grandparents or knowing anything real about them until my parents shared stories when I was older. I don’t regret or resent this, it was simply the time we lived in.

Times do change though.

A is hitting three and has had countless conversations with her grandparents… mostly “Granda, will you put on Peppa Pig” because she’s a demanding little one and what A wants A gets in her grandparents house! In fact, we lived with my parents for four months last year when we were between houses, and although A was coming up to two years old at the time and it’s been eight months since we moved out, she has remnants of memories of where we slept and Saturday morning fry ups (my Dad incredibly manages to cook a fry to perfection while the timing of the sausages, rashers, toast, beans, fried tomatoes and eggs just stresses me to the nines!). She has never forgotten helping her Nanny hang the clothes on the line or bumpity bumming down the stairs

She runs to my parents with excitement and love when she see’s them and constantly asks to call them on the phone. (Which I don’t entertain because lets face it, it can be frustrating attempting a phone call with a toddler who just giggles and stares at the phone.) I know as the years progress she will have a distinct and loving relationship with them as I see my sisters kids, who are older than A, share a connection with them that is deep and loving.

The Grandparent Bond Grandchild grandparent relationship
Holding onto Nanny’s hand at the beach

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Grandparent Bond Grandchild Grandparent relationship
Ah there’s Granda’s foot – playing football on the beach

This post is more about showing my appreciation to my parents more than anything else. You don’t realise how much your parents have done for you until you become a parent yourself.

The sacrifices they made to give you everything they could.
The love and education they gave and still give.
The respect and encouragement and support which is unfailing and honest.

I thank them wholeheartedly and honestly –

For giving me a childhood I look back on so fondly.
For giving me a basis on how to be a good parent.
For showing me the truth and reality of a happy and longlasting marriage – they are married 45 years this month.

They are incredible parents and beautiful people. I am honoured to be their daughter.

(*out of courtesy to my parents you only get a snippet of my Mum’s arm and my Dad’s leg as they’d rather not be blasted across my blog. Totally understandable. Trust me when I say they are full human beings with all their limbs especially arms which give the best hugs*)

Dear Bear and Beany

Diary of an imperfect mum

A Cornish Mum

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31 Comments

  1. This is just lovely and I have to say I’m quite envious of the bond you clearly share with your parents and their role as grandparents. Unfortunately we don’t have that in our lives and I miss that presence. But we are very close to my siblings which resembles the same type of relationship you describe- and it really does make all the difference!

    1. I’d be lost without them! They are the type of grandparents I always wanted. They would do anything for us, and I’d do anything for them. I love that you’re so close to your siblings. Family is so important.

  2. What a lovely post! There is something really special about watching your parents become grandparents, isn’t there? I count myself similarly lucky to have had a wonderful childhood, full of love, and my parents did everything they could to give us really special memories to look back on. But seeing them as grandparents, they are more relaxed, more able to spoil their grandchildren, and as they’ve both just retired, they love being able to have so much time to spend with them. I think my little boy is so lucky to have such fabulous grandparents (and they’re lucky to have such an awesome grandson, in my completely biased opinion!) Thanks so much for linking up with us at #SharingtheBlogLove – I really hope you’ll be able to join us again next week!

    1. Oh that’s so sweet, yes grandparents can be just as lucky with their grandchildren πŸ™‚ it is so lovely to see my parents with my little one nd my sisters kids. They really are the doting grandparents

  3. I love to watch my children with their grandparents. I was very lucky to spend whole weekends with my Nana – she took us on all kinds of adventures.
    The saddest part of being a parent for me, is not having my Dad around. He’d have made the most wonderful Grandad. I can picture him throwing my girls around, tickling them until they can barely breathe from laughing and cuddling them right up.
    A lovely post, thanks for sharing xx
    #SharingtheBlogLove

    1. Such a beautiful post, makes me envious of your relationship with your parents. And I agree, for some reason, parents seem to be able to make the best fry ups πŸ™‚

        1. I’m the same, my dad makes some amazing dishes, the problem is he lives on the other side of the country to me. Even though my mother lives closer we don’t have that great a relationship. I hope you enjoy your dinner πŸ™‚

  4. I love this post and can relate to it so much. I was lucky enough to be brought up by 2 loving parents who did everything they could for my brother and I. To see them become grandparents has been wonderful, they are both retired and just adore spending time with my girls. They are so different as grandparents, more relaxed, they spoil them, but I wouldn’t want it any other way. My girls just love being with them and we have just got back from holiday with them too. Thank you for linking up to #SharingtheBlogLove x

    1. That is so nice! I can’t wait to go on holiday with my parents and our little one. My sister, her husband and their kids went on holiday with my parents last year and they all had a ball. Something so special sharing moments like that with grandparents

  5. This is lovely!! Seeing the joy that Archie and my Mum (Nanny) bring to each other’s lives has been one of my parenting highlights. As you say, it’s recreating memories from your own childhood. Lovely post!x

    1. Thank you πŸ™‚ Its been very funny to watch my mum turn into a very traditional Irish Nanny πŸ™‚ I love it. Watching their bond with my daughter really has been a highlight of parenting as you say

  6. Aww this is a lovely post. I too was raised in the 80s during the recession and we made do and I have such happy memories. My parents also look after Ava a day a week now and looked after Finlay before he went to school. I love that they all have such a good relationship. Thanks for linking to #PickNMix

  7. Aw that’s a lovely sentiment right at the end about their arms giving the best hugs! I totally agree with you. Until you’re a parent, you don’t understand that willingness to sacrifice everything for your child. #picknmix

  8. My daughter has a very beautiful and very special bond with my mother who has seen her everyday since the day she was born – and was even there at the birth too. To watch them together is wonderful and it sounds like you have the same for yours

    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

  9. What a beautiful post and how lovely that A has such a wonderful bond with her grandparents. I do think you appreciate your parents so much more once you become one – and if I can be half as good a mum to my girls as my mum was and is to me, I’ll have done well. I love watching the bond my girls have with their grandparents too and seeing my mum’s joy at seeing them always makes me feel so happy. I sadly lost two of four grandparents before I was born, but was incredibly close to my nan (who died when I was five) and always enjoyed spending time with my Grandad although I don’t really remember him playing with us in the way that nan always did. #sharingthebloglove

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