Despite being in our thirties, I think myself and Papa Bear are relatively traditional when it comes to our marriage. We’re not stuck in the 1950s though, with himself the bread winner and me tied to the kitchen sink peeling spuds. We’re quite the team when it comes to our relationship as well as our parenting. When our marriage hits a blip or life throws a curveball, we have a natural way of finding our way back to the straight and narrow. We never read a guidebook, although there are many! We value each other as well as our marriage. And no, every day is not perfect, and yes, somedays we want to throttle each other, but running away is never an option. I realised a lot of the qualities that makes us “Us” are not new. Not new age. They’re relatively old fashioned but certainly still relevant.
In one way, because we effectively have grown up together, we know how the cogs and wheels of our relationship move. We know when it needs a tune up, and we know when something sticky gets stuck in the wheels and it needs a bit of greasing. We know when it’s been pushed too hard and needs a bit of TLC. There’s no neon sign shouting at us to care for our relationship but rather an intuitive, “oooooh we need to do something about this” when things get a bit rocky.
There are quite a few surprisingly traditional values of marriage that you may say are outdated but they still work. Even in our tech savvy world with our fast paced lifestyles.
Let’s count them down.
Remember The Small Things
It doesn’t seem like much when your other half unloads the dishwasher or cleans up the crumbs from the counter. But it is.
It doesn’t seem like much when your other half buys you a massive bag of crisps or makes you a cup of tea. But it is.
It doesn’t seem like much when your other half kisses you goodnight and says “sweet dreams hon”. But it is.
The small things matter just as much, if not more. Remember them.
Pick Your Battles
You’re tired, stressed, hungry, too worn out to bother with anything. All of this can make you irritable and annoyed making it easy to snipe and argue over the smallest things. But what’s the point in arguing for the sake of arguing? Pick your battles and save your energy for the things that do matter.
It doesn’t cost anything to say thanks for even the smallest things. Showing your appreciation for your other half shows love as well as gratitude. Saying thanks is one of the simplest ways to show you care.
Say I Love You
This sort of goes without saying but you may be surprised how easy it is to forget to say these three simple words that pack a punch. Say it every day and never let your partner forget how much you love them.
In one way, how can you expect someone to love and appreciate you if you don’t appreciate yourself? Loving yourself is a good start to any relationship. Being happy in yourself and recognising your flaws, as well as all that is awesome about you, will bring a whack of positive energy to your relationship.
Don’t Hold Anything In Or Back
We can’t read minds. If we did it might make things a whole lot easier. There is no point in holding back or holding in your feelings. Honesty is one of the most important cornerstones to any marriage and communication is vital. Talk the pants off of each other! Literally and figuratively!