I’ve had some incredibly mixed emotions lately. Little Bean is almost one and I can’t help but think back over the year it’s been. It’s been good but it’s also been bad. And those bad days are standing out more. But I am ending today focusing on Little Bean and her big sister because while the year has been a challenge, guess what, we got through it.
You may remember that during my pregnancy, I struggled with pains, hormones and fears. For the second time in my life, I was hating the experience and willing it to be over. Throughout the nine months, I failed to bond with the bump. I rarely thought about what Little Bean would be like and how well she would fit into our small family. I couldn’t or rather didn’t imagine what she would look like, smell like, feel like. I didn’t have the time to focus on the fact that I was growing a human being. I had a three year old running around me and she kept me well occupied. Things changed in the first hour that Little Bean was born.
Finally, I can almost say that I’m ready to bring Little Bean into the world. I have finished up some DIY that needed doing in the house, thanks to my awesome Dad. Ok, so the DIY didn’t necessarily need doing, but my head and shoulders are a lot more relaxed knowing they are done. I have my hospital bag packed!! I did it, finally, with just two weeks to go. For some reason I kept putting this one off, probably because the reality of the looming and large bump only hit last week. I have Little Bean’s clothes all washed, iron and sorted in little Ikea drawer sorter thingys and I feel so accomplished knowing where all the nappies, wipes and scented bags are. I have five sets of clothes ready for A, for when I’m in the hospital so B doesn’t have to stress about what to throw on the cute three-year old. I have action plans in place if I go into labour, and plans are in motion if all goes to schedule and I get to walk into hospital for the elective C-section. You may have gathered that I’m a planner, an organiser, I like and need to keep control of my personal situations and that of my family. The same goes for the weeks after me and Little Bean get home. For myself, for B and A and of course our new Little Bean, to settle into our new lives together I have rules and plans. Read more
I’ve heard them say that going from zero babies to one baby is harder than going from one to two. I can understand why. Having at least one child has given you a massive amount of experience into this world of parenting. Whether you think you’re a good parent or not, whether you struggle every day with the long and arduous routine or have everything neatly organised and arranged for the week ahead, parenting is all still a mystery with learning curves every day. But adding a second child to the mix, apparently isn’t as hard as learning everything from scratch first time round. So why do I feel so damn nervous about becoming a Mum of two?
You may have noticed that I have been a little quiet on the blog front. I decided to take a week or so off from writing as I caught up on, well everything. I’ll admit at 30 weeks I’ve been pushing myself too hard and have felt exhausted to the point of willing myself into a coma. Not to repeat myself, but I’m not made for pregnancy and find that I’m really struggling this time round. On the flip side, its gone a lot quicker than last time and the final countdown has crept up on us. But because we’ve only single digit weeks to wait until Little Bean arrives, I can’t help but feel anxious over the fact that I haven’t bonded with bump and that I have nothing ready for her. Oh how different pregnancy number two really is.
Pregnancy comes with quite a lot of misconceptions. Often there is an expectation of how you are supposed to feel and things you should do while a little dude or dudette takes up home in your uterus. You should be happy, excited and glowing. You should be mother earth and enjoy every minute of the experience. Well, no, not exactly. We’re not reproducing machines, all latched on to the same programme, downloading the same software and experiencing the same thing. We’re real women, with real emotions, issues and problems. Pregnancy is not a walk in the park. For some, it’s a dredge through quicksand. So here are my seven things you don’t have to do while pregnant.
This week I had the pleasure of talking to Emma Mathews who is a freelance journalist and blogger. Emma is mum to one little boy and she shares her insight into parenting as a young mum, discussing the PPP – Perfect Pinterest Parent and following your child’s lead. Her positivity and love for her son is beautiful and I think we can all take a leaf out of Emma’s book.
I have become very much a discombobulated mess this past week. Probably longer if you ask B. I still blame baby brain for my ludicrous stupidity and mindlessness. Baby brain was exhausting when A was a baby. I almost felt like I should tattoo my daily routine on my arm and thighs like that guy from Memento and carry a Polaroid camera with me!
That growing up from baby to toddler, from toddler to child is so quick. I know A is only two and a half and that she still waddles along on sturdy legs, has a cute toddler voice and still pulls the funny “ooh ooh” face when running after a ball which she’s done since nine months old. But she’s getting so big, gaining an independence and finding her own voice. But we’re lucky that we get to watch them grow up and learn.
I grew up in what was considered at the time to be a town. Over the years that town with its friendly and welcoming mentality turned into a city. It was a neighbourhood that turned into a suburban metropolis. I love where I grew up but since becoming a mother I knew I didn’t want to live there anymore or raise our daughter there. Moving to the countryside was the best decision for us.