For those who missed last weeks post, I suffered a first trimester bleed at 10 weeks pregnant at the beginning of November. When the bleeding stopped, I thought that we were in the safe zone. The thoughts of miscarriage and pregnancy loss disappeared as the days went on. Those feelings of security can be dimished quickly when you let your head wander and you forget to keep strong. I have had slight bleeding on and off for the past two weeks and I’ll admit every trip to the bathroom makes me nervous. I’m feeling more and more worried as the days go on despite hearing so many success stories of beautiful babies being born after such events. Dealing with the aftermath of a first trimester bleed has not been easy. I’ve had good days and very bad days. Days when I see the light at the end of the tunnel and days when I can’t help but think the worst.
You may have noticed that I have been very quiet the past week. My ordinary four to five posts per week have disappeared and I have been relatively quiet on social media. My break from Over Heaven’s Hill was unintentional. I diligently downed tools on almost everything including my full time job as I was signed out from work. This week has been one I have never experienced before and one I hope never to experience again. Conflicting emotions of hope and despair have filtered through since last Wednesday and I have questioned and agonised over the “what if’s” and “should have’s”. This was meant to be a much different post, which I had already written in anticipation, but was no longer suitable. A happier and more hopeful post with an announcement most people are excited to make. For us, our happy announcement has been shadowed by fear and anxiety because we weren’t too sure we could make it. Thankfully, after today, we can say that yes, it is a happy announcement.
We’re expecting our second baby! Read more