Pregnancy comes with quite a lot of misconceptions. Often there is an expectation of how you are supposed to feel and things you should do while a little dude or dudette takes up home in your uterus. You should be happy, excited and glowing. You should be mother earth and enjoy every minute of the experience. Well, no, not exactly. We’re not reproducing machines, all latched on to the same programme, downloading the same software and experiencing the same thing. We’re real women, with real emotions, issues and problems. Pregnancy is not a walk in the park. For some, it’s a dredge through quicksand. So here are my seven things you don’t have to do while pregnant.
It’s common to have mood swings in pregnancy. Our hormones are, not so literally, sprawled across the floor in a tangled mess that even the most expert of puzzle makers could unravel. We are the Christmas tree lights thrown into the bottom of the box when we said, “we’ll deal with that next year.” So far, fourteen weeks into this pregnancy, I’ve had very valid and legitimate reasons to cry. I’ve cried through the fear and the panic of thinking we were losing this baby. I’ve cried over the worry and anxiety of literally believing I had to try to hold this baby in. I know, a ridiculous thought, but that’s what it felt like. And yet, it seems, the last few weeks that I am able to open the flood gates for well… anything. And a second later, I want to sing from the rooftops my joy and excitement. A euphoria that inevitably comes crashing down. The ups and downs of pregnancy emotions can be difficult to deal with. Especially when those around you don’t understand or appreciate how much of a rollercoaster pregnancy is.
For those who missed last weeks post, I suffered a first trimester bleed at 10 weeks pregnant at the beginning of November. When the bleeding stopped, I thought that we were in the safe zone. The thoughts of miscarriage and pregnancy loss disappeared as the days went on. Those feelings of security can be dimished quickly when you let your head wander and you forget to keep strong. I have had slight bleeding on and off for the past two weeks and I’ll admit every trip to the bathroom makes me nervous. I’m feeling more and more worried as the days go on despite hearing so many success stories of beautiful babies being born after such events. Dealing with the aftermath of a first trimester bleed has not been easy. I’ve had good days and very bad days. Days when I see the light at the end of the tunnel and days when I can’t help but think the worst.
You may have noticed that I have been very quiet the past week. My ordinary four to five posts per week have disappeared and I have been relatively quiet on social media. My break from Over Heaven’s Hill was unintentional. I diligently downed tools on almost everything including my full time job as I was signed out from work. This week has been one I have never experienced before and one I hope never to experience again. Conflicting emotions of hope and despair have filtered through since last Wednesday and I have questioned and agonised over the “what if’s” and “should have’s”. This was meant to be a much different post, which I had already written in anticipation, but was no longer suitable. A happier and more hopeful post with an announcement most people are excited to make. For us, our happy announcement has been shadowed by fear and anxiety because we weren’t too sure we could make it. Thankfully, after today, we can say that yes, it is a happy announcement.
We’re expecting our second baby! Read more