Life has a funny way of changing your perspective on things. For us, the idea of our family tree spreading didn’t start with that giggle and jiggle under the sheets. The drawn-out two-year conversation about whether it was the right time to start a family, hung like a cloud over us as we thrashed out the whys, the ifs and the buts. It was a long process. It’s the old story of I wanted kids, he wasn’t sure, I pushed the issue, he pushed back, and I won in the end.
Today is our 11th Wedding Anniversary. This day eleven years ago, I married my best friend and the only man I have ever been in love with. I know for a fact, that I will always love him more than I love our children. Some may find this remark scathing, unloving and possibly cruel to say. But think about it – can you honestly say that you love your children the same or more than your partner? I’ve always known that my love for B is stronger, closer and more powerful than my love as a mother to our children. And I’m not ashamed or shy to admit it.
Quite a surprising thing happened to me on Tuesday in the early afternoon. An email zipped into my inbox from the organisers of the Realex Web Awards, dropping the bombshell that I was a finalist in the awards. I have to say, I wasn’t expecting this in the slightest and thought that my days of attending award ceremonies were over and done with for this year. But nope, not just yet. The Littlewoods Ireland Blog Awards, two weeks ago, was great fun. I anticipated it with excitement and, I’ll admit, slight anxiety since it was my first Blogger event and as a finalist no less. Papa Bear came along with me and we made a night of it, booking a hotel, revelling in the incredible acrobatics of the Circus and picking little miss up at 11am the next morning. This time, I wasn’t following the announcements for the Realex Web Awards and missed that I was a finalist. The Awards were thrown on me a day before the Ceremony. Yep, a day before! The event was last night, in Dublin’s Liberty Hall Theatre. Since it was all very last minute, juggling work, babysitters and life in general, I pretty much figured it was out of the question for me to attend. I had almost resigned myself to missing the night until Papa Bear encouraged me to go if I could get a date. A date? But of course, there was only one person to ask. I was absolutely delighted that my Mum was happy to be my arm candy for the night.
As the world reels in the non-important but celebrity significant news of the impending divorce of Brangelina, I wonder, as many have wondered when a celebrity marriage crumbles, if marriage has become a non-entity in our lives.
What does family mean to you? I grew up with the idea of happy families impressed in my mind and feel lucky and privileged that we are a close unit. I don’t know if my parents set out to create a family life and childhood for us that was loving and memorable or if it was something that was inherently natural to them. My parents impress me every day and more so now that I have a child of my own. They have a relationship that is ever lasting and beautiful to watch. They understand each other as though they are one person and love and support each other in a way that only best friends can. I admire them and I thank them for giving me a solid and beautiful idea of what family life should be.
This week on In Conversation With, I had the pleasure of speaking with the beautiful Julie from Fab Working Mom Life. Julie is a working Mom, a blogger and a mother of one. I know exactly the daily grind Julie goes through as I’m a full time working Momma Bear also. It can be very difficult to keep the house and home going and ensure you’re not neglecting yourself, your partner and most importantly your children. But some how we manage it, and sometimes we need help. Julie’s blog is fantastic and I feel like I can relate to a lot that she says. Keeping our identity in parenthood is so important. Read on to see what Julie has to say on being a working mom.
Since A discovered that Momma and Papa Bear were completely separate entities to her, she has become my shadow. As soon as she started crawling, I would hear a gentle tip tip tapping on the wooden floors as she followed me. When she learned to walk, she would waddle wherever Momma Bear went. And now that she has mastered running and shouting, I hear a chorus of “Mommy, wait for me!” anytime I try to leave the room. I don’t mind my ever-fixed shadow being glued to me as I make my way from room to room – despite it being mildly inconvenient at times. What is a challenge, is the effect this parental preference has on B. Do you have a child who favours one parent over the other?
Ahhh the Daddy Tag Challenge! I’ve yet to be nominated for the Mummy Tag Challenge – I’m clearly clamboring for a nomination here! – so I decided to jump on the bandwagon and nominate Papa Bear for #TheDaddyTag! A clever challenge issued by the very wonderful Frenchie Mummy. I was tempted to do as Frenchie said and make the answers up for B but he was very happy to oblige and take part. Check out his answers to the Daddy Tag Challenge. Of course I couldn’t help but add my own little tid-bit too!
A has B wrapped around her little finger. She is a Daddys Girl. She doesn’t know it. But she does. It’s been this way since she was born. B didn’t exactly prepare himself for fatherhood and was in a state of semi panic, semi disillusionment for the nine months before she was born. As soon as she appeared, B changed. In that split second he became a father, he became a Dad, a best friend, a comfort, a protector and a Prince to our little girl. He was the first to hold her, the first to feed her (she was born by Emergency Cesarean Section so I missed these firsts), he was beside her as we were brought to our room in the hospital, he held her as Momma Bear recuperated after surgery.
I mentioned before how B is a ridiculously funny man. He has a sense of humor that matches the quick witted ramblings of Sean Lock and Lee Mack, except I think he’s funnier. No really he is. I know everyone thinks their husband or partner or dog is funny. Humor is of course one of the top traits a woman looks for in a man, so if he’s not funny, then dear God, throw him back.