Its 2019. We’re breaking into a new decade very soon and yet there still remains a veiled perception of the stay-at-home Dad, who he is and what he should be like. Strong. Masculine. In the office. And yet we consider ourselves to be a progressive and understanding society. You see, it all still seems to be about Mum when we talk about staying at home and being the primary caregiver. In todays Irish Times, I spoke to a Dad who has felt the prejudice and judgment with wanting to be the Dad at home, the one who cares for the kids 24/7. He has felt the stigma and the inward pull of his masculinity as friends and colleagues ask “why would you want to do that?”
And so almost ends my first year as a stay-at-home, work-from-home, Momma Bear. How’s it’s been? Oh where do I start? How about with you.
I think I’m classed as a millennial woman. A mid thirties, career minded woman with children in the mix who is trying to figure out how to have it all – if “have it all” really exists. I am the type of woman who has a partner, a mortgage and ideas in her head to climb all sorts of ladders. A woman whose ideas about herself, her life, her future, changed almost without her knowing but those ladders were still there. I was twenty one leaving college with a Bachelors Degree in the Arts. I jumped feet first into my career as a Librarian and continued with postgraduate studies in the evenings. I loved it. It was a plan, a path, an ideal I was working towards. And here I am twelve years later, abandoning that career I worked so hard for. It wasn’t always the plan to stay at home, but life has changed my options, and more importantly, my perspective.
This week I handed in my resignation. Dun dun duuuuunn! My intitial reaction last night, after a very anti-climactic day of talking to my boss and sorting things out with HR, was “Oh dear god, what the fricking F have I done?” Followed by mild panic and anxiety as it was all finally oh so very, very real. I was due back to my post as a Medical Librarian in May but now I will officially not be going back to work after maternity leave. I am leaving behind a twelve year career to start something brand new. It’s the big decision, the big change, the new me I was talking about last week. So, why did I take the massive step to quit and what am I doing now?
I haven’t been a very good blogger lately for a number of reasons which I suppose I can, hopefully, be forgiven for. Firstly at 33 weeks pregnant… or is it 34? I’ve lost count!.. I’m exhausted and am finding it very difficult to stay up past 10pm most nights. Hell, 10pm! I’m doing quite well there. Secondly, I’m tired of complaining, so I imagine you’re tired of listening to me complain. Considering all I could think to write about was once again my hatred of pregnancy, I’ve refrained from writing a blog post until now. Thirdly, I was on doctors orders to relax more and give the blog a back seat, so blogging once a week has pretty much been my limit. I had intended on taking a break from writing completely this week and leave you all wondering where I was until B sent me an email that triggered a ton of emotions.
After an unplanned week off from all things blogging, the In Conversation Series was unfortunately stalled for a week. However, I am delighted to bring Oana to your attention, who is a beautiful Mum both inside and out, and a great parent blogger also over at Blondie Mommy’s Stories. One of the best things about doing this series, is meeting so many amazing parents who understand the worth and power of sharing their experiences through their writings. It’s hard work being a blogger and raising a family but we understand the hardship and still enjoy being apart of this blogging world. Read on to see what Oana has to say on the future of her son and her hopes and dreams for him.
I am so excited to talk to Lucy this week who is a Stay-at-Home Mum and a fantastic blogger. In fact, Lucy has given me some tips on how to organise my own blogging life. It’s not easy being a Stay-at-Home Mum as she points out, but her list of positives out weigh any negatives there might be, and I just love the list! Lucy shares her thoughts with us on family life, being a mum and managing to find that all elusive balance between finding time to work on her blog and care for her kids. Remember to check out Lucy’s blog and say hi to her on twitter!
I am so excited about this weeks In Conversation With. This is Week 2 of the new series on Over Heavens Hill. I’m delighted to have the opportunity to talk to so many awesome parents. This week I spoke with Mum Danielle aka Dannie Kitten who is a mother of two. Danielle shares with us her honest insight into pregnancy and parenting and the challenges she faced as a young mum and her journey through preterm babies, eclampsia and studying with two smallies at home. As a Stay-at-Home Mom, Danielle is also an awesome Game Reviewer. If you’re a gamer you can check out her reviews here at DKPlaysGames. B is also an avid gamer, so I was interested to see what Danielle had to say about technology and kids.
I am delighted to include an In Conversation With series on the blog with some lovely Momma’s and Papa’s who would like to share their tips, tricks and ideas on gaining that understated balance on parenting life. As a full time working Mom and Dad, B and I are often trying to find the correct balance with our careers and our home life. It’s never easy to know if you’re doing the right thing by your children or your partner and as always parenting guilt can take over. It takes a while to get into a routine with work and babies but oddly you do find that routine and manage some sort of equilibrium that suits your family. For me the balance comes with getting quality time with A. This week I speak to a stay at home mother who has raised her two children in the rural countryside of Co. Meath.