When I found out that I would be scheduled for a C Section for Little Bean’s special delivery, I was quite happy. The controversary and debates regarding Cesarean Sections are pointless to me, and I will gladly say that I am chuffed to already be scheduled on the theatre list for May. It’s not a personal choice. I’m not too posh to push. There have been complications to both my pregnancy and I will not take the risk with my life or my daughter’s life for the sake of ‘experiencing’ a natural birth. So, back in December I decided that this time around, I would be mentally prepared for this C Section. Well, can you guess just how prepared I actually am?
Little Bean was a planned pregnancy and I’ll admit from the very first day of finding out she was on her way, B and I had hoped that her arrival would be due to a Caesarean Section. The fear and panic we felt at A’s birth was scary. There were tears, there was confusion, there was very little preparation and so there was constant worry. But a C Section was absolutely the correct call and saved our baby’s life. This time around we are taking no chances.
Fast forward to last November when I started to bleed. Heavy bleeding. I was convinced I was miscarrying, but thankfully, Little Bean, who is now the size of a cantaloupe, is still with us and getting ready to make her grand entrance to the world. Through the sunroof as it were. A phrase I’ve never been comfortable with since it limits the impact of my baby’s birth. As though I’m driving on Route 66 with the wind blowing in my hair, sunglasses adorning my tanned face and a smile as I wink at Little Bean as she makes her way out to us.
Needless to say, I have issues with the attitude some people have with regards to C Section, but I’ve talked about that before and thats not what this post is about.
This post is about me being prepared for an inevitable C Section delivery. Of course, it’s really about the fact that I am completely unprepared.
I had absolutely great intentions to get into the correct mindframe and position myself in such a way that when the day comes I will be relaxed, comfortable and ready for the major surgery which will not only deliver our second baby but have a major impact on my emotional and physical state. This post was meant to be a guide of sorts as to know to get into that positive mindframe. What worked for me might work for you kind of thing.
So, am I prepared?
Of course not. Do I have any nuggets of wisdom for you. Not a one! Since December, when I had incredibly good intentions, life has gotten in the way. I’ve been winding down in work, juggling home life, work life and pregnant life, all of which do not make a great combination. I’ve been overly anxious about Little Bean and constantly watching out for more bleeding. There has been no time to center my psyche and prepare myself.
With five weeks to go, my intentions are good. I am taking it easier at home. A is perfectly happy to let me nestle on the armchair, feet propped up and relax. I have slowed down since my nesting mode was disappeared now that the baby’s room is all done. Can I get my head into the right space?
I’m not sure what I expect from being mentally prepared for a C Section. I am completely and whole-heartedly prepared for the arrival of our Little Bean. I am ready to hold her, snuggle her, feed her and love her. But I want to be prepared to enjoy the experience of her birth, not worry in a state of confusion.
I suppose thinking about the surgery is the first step to being prepared. Anything can change on the day, so can I actually be 100% prepared? I should know, A’s birth plan changed in an absolute instant but I chastised myself for not preparing for a section.
But because of A’s birth, I somewhat know what to expect but am not sure my head will be in the right place on that day.
So, I have five weeks to go, to get my mind into the right space. How do I do this though? I would really appreciate your advice if you have any because I’m not too sure where to start?