Myself and B have what you might call an eclectic taste. Our house is dotted with robots, books about Star Trek and pictures of comic books. We have a mannequin who we named Dorothy Zephyr for my love of steampunk and our industrial table lamp is a prized possession. Our taste in TV shows and movies varies from Sci fi to quirky humour to clever psychological thrillers. Since joining the Netflix StreamTeam I have been thinking of lists of movies and tv shows to introduce you to that myself and B have loved. Let’s start off with one of my favourite categories, Dystopian. Never heard of Dystopian before? Oh come on in and enter my favourite world!
Being honest and open is one thing I try to stay true to as a blogger. I write with my heart on my sleeve which is why you have read about the hardships of my pregnancy, the pregnancy scare we had, the tough days we have as Momma and Papa Bear and my recent spiralling descent into the maddening world of anxiety. If you follow me on social media you’ll know that my honesty is not only on the blog but also on my Facebook page, my Instagram and wholeheartedly on twitter which has become my favourite social media platform. A twitter friend named my anxiety and it’s stuck so let’s talk about this Frickin’ Flamingo and how social media has had an effect on it.
First of all, have you had a baby recently? How are you doing? You? Not your baby, you, Momma Bear. I want to ask about you because I want you to know that you have not been forgotten. In fact, a beautiful woman who would often comment on my Facebook posts, Kathryn, had a baby around the same time as me and I often think about her and wonder how she is doing. You see, when A was born, the reason I missed being pregnant was because, in such a short space of time, everyone stopped asking how I was and focused on the baby. I felt, in a way, left behind as I tried to catch up to this world who graciously accepted and loved my baby into their arms. But it’s normal. Your bump is gone, the pain is no longer written on your face. But it’s still there, nestled in amongst the scars and quiet sighs. But still, we’re somewhat forgotten once the baby starts to hit their milestones and your pregnancy becomes a distant memory.
Lately, my anxiety levels have lessened. Since accepting that I’m suffering from either postnatal depression or anxiety or both since the birth of D – or if I’m honest a little before that – I’ve uncovered a few coping mechanisms that have truly helped. One being, baby wearing. I have recently been using an AmaWrap baby sling and I didn’t realise, but baby wearing has been pivotal in helping me cope with anxiety. Let me tell you how.
When I started writing Over Heaven’s Hill over a year ago, my aim was to write about how parenthood changed me. Changed my personality, my outlook on life, and my ordinary routines. Over the year, my focus has changed a little and I now write, more freely, about the difficult days, the hardships and the worries we all seem to have when it comes to parenting and how the changes that have occurred in my life are not always welcome. Of course, I write about the good days too, but being honest about how drastic life changes when adding children to the mix is important for me. And hopefully you appreciate my honesty.
You may remember that during my pregnancy, I struggled with pains, hormones and fears. For the second time in my life, I was hating the experience and willing it to be over. Throughout the nine months, I failed to bond with the bump. I rarely thought about what Little Bean would be like and how well she would fit into our small family. I couldn’t or rather didn’t imagine what she would look like, smell like, feel like. I didn’t have the time to focus on the fact that I was growing a human being. I had a three year old running around me and she kept me well occupied. Things changed in the first hour that Little Bean was born.
Finally, I can almost say that I’m ready to bring Little Bean into the world. I have finished up some DIY that needed doing in the house, thanks to my awesome Dad. Ok, so the DIY didn’t necessarily need doing, but my head and shoulders are a lot more relaxed knowing they are done. I have my hospital bag packed!! I did it, finally, with just two weeks to go. For some reason I kept putting this one off, probably because the reality of the looming and large bump only hit last week. I have Little Bean’s clothes all washed, iron and sorted in little Ikea drawer sorter thingys and I feel so accomplished knowing where all the nappies, wipes and scented bags are. I have five sets of clothes ready for A, for when I’m in the hospital so B doesn’t have to stress about what to throw on the cute three-year old. I have action plans in place if I go into labour, and plans are in motion if all goes to schedule and I get to walk into hospital for the elective C-section. You may have gathered that I’m a planner, an organiser, I like and need to keep control of my personal situations and that of my family. The same goes for the weeks after me and Little Bean get home. For myself, for B and A and of course our new Little Bean, to settle into our new lives together I have rules and plans. Read more
Pregnancy comes with quite a lot of misconceptions. Often there is an expectation of how you are supposed to feel and things you should do while a little dude or dudette takes up home in your uterus. You should be happy, excited and glowing. You should be mother earth and enjoy every minute of the experience. Well, no, not exactly. We’re not reproducing machines, all latched on to the same programme, downloading the same software and experiencing the same thing. We’re real women, with real emotions, issues and problems. Pregnancy is not a walk in the park. For some, it’s a dredge through quicksand. So here are my seven things you don’t have to do while pregnant.
One of the questions I asked other parents in the blog series, In Conversation With, last year was what are your hopes and dreams for your children? It’s a question I have tried to answer myself over the years, but it’s a difficult one to truly articulate. Good job, success, happiness, happy relationship, respect, pride? As you probably know by now, Little Bean is growing rapidly and it turns out that she’s a she! We’re delighted to be having another girl, a little sister for A. Raising daughters in this century, however, has never been easy and it doesn’t look like it will get easier any time soon. In light of the new American Presidency, we have to question where has equality disappeared to? Why are women’s rights still not being recognised? In a world where such a man can be elected to one of the highest levels of esteem and power, how can we tell our children, our daughters, that by the time their future is here that they will be treated equally, respected and honoured?
Oh me, oh my how life changes when babies appear and how life changes as they grow up and morph from babies to toddlers to children. I listed five ways our relationship changed when the toddler took over. Five changes among a list of a million and I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.
This post was originally posted on Talya’s blog Motherhood the Real Deal