Scott Calvin Burnt the Turkey!

A has been watching The Santa Claus on a constant loop since July. So, the key phrase in our house for the past six months has been “Scott Calvin burnt the turkey“. It’s probably one of my favourite scenes in The Santa Claus when Scott sends the big whooper of a bird up in flames and himself and Charlie end up in Dennys on Christmas Eve. It’s all too reminiscent of an unwanted Christmas tradition myself and B have. We either burn the turkey or undercook the dear bird. We’ve lived together for over ten years and yet, I still call my Dad to ask his advice about the turkey every year. And most years, we magically cook an abysmal failure. To be fair, one year, our oven packed in half way through roasting so that one wasn’t our fault… no matter how often we fiddled with the temperature gauge, wondering what we were doing wrong! This year, I’m ready. Ready to cook that turkey with the mighty gusto of the Domestic Goddess that is petit vieux moi. Although, I’m no Nigella Lawson, I can follow her recipes with ease.

But even with a Nigella Lawson book sprawled open in front of me, I will still question how thoroughly cooked the bird actually is. Full of flavour! Full of Campylobacter and Salmonella?

Undercooked turkey puts the fear of God into me. I’ve thrown turkey out before because I didn’t trust it. And recently, on my worldwide google travels I’ve uncovered some myths about knowing when your turkey is cooked. For instance, that clear juice you see and think “Whoopa, this baby is cooked”, may not necessarily be the best method to determine a sufficiently cooked turkey. To be safe, use a thermometer and make sure the bird has reached the appropriate temperature.

christmas turkey
Clearly not one of mine! Thank you for the illusion!

I’ve had food poisoning over Christmas and it is not nice. Missing out on the indulgent splurges and ounces upon ounces of chocolate and cake. That episode of food poisoning had nothing to do with the turkey mind. It was a poorly thought out prawn defrosting method which is not advised i.e. defrosting prawns on the kitchen counter with the central heating on and a million fairy lights heating up the room… Don’t do it!

Scott Calvin Burnt the Turkey

To avoid another notch on our belt of disastrous turkey fails, this year I’m taking precautions, getting prepared and arming myself with a wealth of knowledge. I’ve completed my googling, asked my Dad the usual questions, and have come across the best, easiest, and most helpful of infographics to make sure our Christmas Turkey triumphs finally this year!

Oh yes, this year our bird will not be dry, will not be pink, will not be burnt. I am destined to cook a perfectly succulent and tender turkey fit for a King to rip the wings off… or maybe I’ll get a boned and rolled turkey… start off easy when you’re not the best turkey baster in the world!

I started using when A came along and I wanted to make sure she was getting the right nutrients in the safest possible way. She’s now a fussy eating toddler, so if she eats chips for a week I don’t mind because at least she’s eating… Ain’t that right Mamas? 🙂 is a wealth of knowledge and this year they may just be my lifesaver with their Infographic on how to properly cook your Christmas Turkey. Oh Scott, if only I could whizz this over to you on an email back in 1994.

Reading through the info, I realise, I have made quite a few mistakes over the past few years with our turkey. I think we’re quite lucky none of our dinner guests didn’t suffer some sort of mild upset. Not to frighten any of our past or future guests! Don’t worry, this year, we’ve got this sorted!

And hey, there’s always Ham… I make a mean Christmas Ham!

FYI Safefood have a number of Christmas Recipes and advise on cooking with those leftovers which you may want to check out.

Check out the infographic below and share with me your horror turkey stories in the comments below so I know I’m not the only woeful Christmas Turkey Wrecker!

Happy Cooking!

Christmas Turkey Safe Food

This is not a collaborative post. I felt an urge to share this infographic with you to soften how woeful a cook I am when it comes to Christmas Turkey!

4 thoughts on “Scott Calvin Burnt the Turkey!

  • December 14, 2016 at 1:24 pm

    I havent a notion how to cook a turkey, or even a chicken for that matter. lucky for me, my mother in law is an amazing cook so I dont need to worry about it. for now!

    • December 15, 2016 at 10:53 am

      I’m sure she’ll give you lots of great tips! Every year I say, we wont get a turkey but it doesnt feel Christmassy enough without it. Some day I’ll learn to either cook it, or not buy one! Have a great Christmas Beth!

  • December 14, 2016 at 2:55 pm

    At least u try. The thoughts of cooking a Turkey brings me out in a cold sweat. Thankfully my Mammy still lets me & the kids come home. I do love being @ home for Christmas dinner.

    • December 15, 2016 at 10:51 am

      You can’t beat Mammy’s cooking! That’s a lovely tradition to have Av (and less hassle on you! – always good!) Have a great Christmas 😀


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