Its 2019. We’re breaking into a new decade very soon and yet there still remains a veiled perception of the stay-at-home Dad, who he is and what he should be like. Strong. Masculine. In the office. And yet we consider ourselves to be a progressive and understanding society. You see, it all still seems to be about Mum when we talk about staying at home and being the primary caregiver. In todays Irish Times, I spoke to a Dad who has felt the prejudice and judgment with wanting to be the Dad at home, the one who cares for the kids 24/7. He has felt the stigma and the inward pull of his masculinity as friends and colleagues ask “why would you want to do that?”
In light of the recent articles and discussions I’ve been having about motherhood, I worry that the point has been missed. There can be a lot of negativity floating through the parenting atmosphere and I most certainly don’t want to come across as a ranting, begrudging, regretful mother because that could not be further from the truth.
Being Momma Bear has changed me. I’ve changed drastically and dramatically and for the better. We grow up, drag ourselves in to the world of adulthood and expect nothing. For some people things don’t change. They blend from one decade to the next with the same ideals and shoes. Others change quickly, become bigger, better versions of their younger selves. And then there are new parents. The change is sudden and immense. The growing up and learning is vast. Parenthood is like an affliction that changes the internal mechanisms of your body and brain – in a positive yet frightfully severe way. Has parenthood changed you?
Ahhh the Daddy Tag Challenge! I’ve yet to be nominated for the Mummy Tag Challenge – I’m clearly clamboring for a nomination here! – so I decided to jump on the bandwagon and nominate Papa Bear for #TheDaddyTag! A clever challenge issued by the very wonderful Frenchie Mummy. I was tempted to do as Frenchie said and make the answers up for B but he was very happy to oblige and take part. Check out his answers to the Daddy Tag Challenge. Of course I couldn’t help but add my own little tid-bit too!
This week I have had the pleasure of talking to James from A Life Just Ordinary. James is dad to a little boy, Joshua and writes a humorous family blog which is sure to have you snickering as you can relate to him and his opinion on Peppa Pig amongst other things! Aside from joining the wonderful blogosphere this year, James also works full time and like all of us is managing the work life balance as best he can. Read more of James Conversation – Interviewing Dad
A has B wrapped around her little finger. She is a Daddys Girl. She doesn’t know it. But she does. It’s been this way since she was born. B didn’t exactly prepare himself for fatherhood and was in a state of semi panic, semi disillusionment for the nine months before she was born. As soon as she appeared, B changed. In that split second he became a father, he became a Dad, a best friend, a comfort, a protector and a Prince to our little girl. He was the first to hold her, the first to feed her (she was born by Emergency Cesarean Section so I missed these firsts), he was beside her as we were brought to our room in the hospital, he held her as Momma Bear recuperated after surgery.
One of our favourite things to do, at pretty much any time of the day, is dance in the kitchen. A is a total fiend for dancing and singing. It’s less about coordination and more about the wiggle and stomping of feet but it’s fun and we laugh non stop as the music takes us through a wave of guilty pleasure. We have a go to list of toddler songs that we all love dancing too.
I have become very much a discombobulated mess this past week. Probably longer if you ask B. I still blame baby brain for my ludicrous stupidity and mindlessness. Baby brain was exhausting when A was a baby. I almost felt like I should tattoo my daily routine on my arm and thighs like that guy from Memento and carry a Polaroid camera with me!
That growing up from baby to toddler, from toddler to child is so quick. I know A is only two and a half and that she still waddles along on sturdy legs, has a cute toddler voice and still pulls the funny “ooh ooh” face when running after a ball which she’s done since nine months old. But she’s getting so big, gaining an independence and finding her own voice. But we’re lucky that we get to watch them grow up and learn.